My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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