WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
