8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
