hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
