can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
