put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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