i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
