If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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