she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
