she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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