I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
