Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
