On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize