isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize