she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
