wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
