the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
accomplished twins. life is a go
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
