Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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