What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
