ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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