Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
