Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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