There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
