not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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