Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize