Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize