Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
