i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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