I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
