i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
