I am spending my child support on dildos
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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