i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
