sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize