The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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