So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
