she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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