I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
