My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
