Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
