Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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