Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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