its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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