Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
