Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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