It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
