That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
