It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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