my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
