So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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