I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
