My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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