after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
vagina is talking i cant
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
