what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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