Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
