i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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