i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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