Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
