They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
