This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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