Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
its not stalking. its research.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Randomize