Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
