The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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