and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
