I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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