You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
