Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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