He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
