May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
