two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
