Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
as a side note pls kill me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
