So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
