it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it's like iHOP with fire
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
